12.07.2012

lunch date with myself.

Taking a late lunch here at work...the usual when I get paid on Fridays, I treat myself to the habit. It's so finger lickin' yummy! Sigh. Today's been a pretty relaxing day, not much on my agenda. I hope it's not another lonely boring Friday though...can't stand nights like that, and lately they have been frequent. I have this thirst for something more that's been nagging at the pit of my heart. I'm yearning for more in life, everything has been stale for me. I feel as if my hope is teeter tottering and I can't quite grasp on to what I once was so passionate about. Honestly, I need Jesus. I've ran so far from him and lost myself in the miry pit. I feel so alone at times, and just to be completely bare...I feel forgotten by God. I mean, I know he loves me...and it's me who has drifted....I hate this feeling. Nothing is going...as it should. I need some change to happen. I can't sleep at night due to all these thoughts and feelings haunting me. Toss and turn. I just want some break through. Something.

Please don't forget your child, Lord...don't forget me. I love you.

writing for my own sake.

Not sure why it's such a struggle to do what used to come so naturally to me...I've become a shell of what I used to be! Again, here I am, back where I always start...always searching for some new beginning that my heart is inclined to crave. I guess I'll start one step at a time...it's a start that I'm even here now. Writing is my healing, I've stored all my emotions inside since I've not been able to write out these crazy feelings I have circling around. Ayayay!

Well, here's to another try...:)